tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC October 10, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EDT
again, oh no ♪ ♪ the moon is full the air is still all of a sudden i feel a chill ♪ ♪ victor is grinning flesh rotting away skeletons dance i curse this day ♪ ♪ and at night when the wolves cry out listen close and you can hear me shout ♪ ♪ hear me shout ♪ i don't want to be buried in a pet sematary i don't want to live my life again ♪ ♪ i don't want to be buried in a pet sematary
i don't want to live my life again ♪ ♪ i don't want to be buried in a pet sematary i don't want to live my life again ♪ ♪ no no no no oh no i don't want to live my life not again ♪ ♪ oh no no no no hey, hey hey, hey hey, hey ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: plain white t's! nice job, gentlemen. thanks, guys. thank you, guys. hey, i want to thank my guests, tyler perry, oscar pistorius, and of course, plain white t's.
tomorrow night, chelsea handler. but emmy winner, jimmy fallon, happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. please. welcome, welcome, everybody, that's what i'm talking about. that's a great new york city crowd right there, going crazy. [ cheers and applause ] that's the type of energy we want. i love you guys. thank you welcome. please. please, sit down, enjoy yourself. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. here's what people are talking about. mitt romney was out on the campaign trail yesterday and while visiting a grade school, romney told students that fourth grade was his favorite. la and he said, unless you're in another grade, then that was my favorite. [ laughter ] that's my favorite grade. speaking of romney, people close to the campaign are saying that mitt romney's son, tagg -- [ laughter ] is now one of his chief advisers. [ light laughter ] yeah, when mitt asked him to join his team, he put his arm on his son's shoulders and said, "tagg, you're it." [ laughter ] there you go. it's a clean joke. you can tell your kids. bring it to school. ♪ it's bipartisan.
everyone can get a laugh. >> steve: that'll work out. people love it. kids love that joke. >> jimmy: democrats, republicans. it's just a clean good je. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: have you guys seen this mitt romney photo that's been making the rounds? that young girl. take a look at this photo. there you go. [ laughter ] yeah, i think he had just gotten a tattoo. [ laughter ] he was quoted as saying, hey, guy, i got my new gramp stamp. i don't even know what that is. [ laughter ] never heard of that. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: we actually have the photo from a different angle where we can see the tattoo. can we show you the tattoo? [ laughter ] there's the tattoo. isn't that weird? [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: that is a weird tattoo. [ applause ] >> steve: what? awful. why would he do that? >> jimmy: he's getting very cocky. >> jimmy: more election news. yesterday, donald trump announced that he will be live tweeting during the next presidential debate. then obama was like, me too. [ laughter ] you guys, i'm excite, pete townshend is here tonight.
[ cheers and applause ] we have christopher walken on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] actually sorry, sorry, we have christopher walken on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: i think it's -- [ as christopher walken ] christopher walken is on the show tonight. isn't that it? >> jimmy: no. [ as christopher walken ] we have christopher walken on the show tonight. [ normal voice ] yes. yes. [ cheers and applause ] i love that guy. check this out you guys. a new survey found that atheists are the fastest growing religious group in the u.s. [ applause ] and if you find that hard to believe, well, you're probably one of them. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
this is interesting, a new study found that certain kinds of birds don't forget human faces. of course there are certain faces a bird would like to forget. [ laughter ] i'm just saying -- this is crazy. yesterday, two atms here in new york were shutdown for dispensing counterfeit money. yeah. people were suspicious after one guy came back, said, hey, can you break a 23? [ laughter ] counterfeit. [ light laughter ] not a real -- >> who said it? steve urkel? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: finally, an elderly couple in the u.k. was cited for accidentally growing a large marijuana plant in their front yard. the authorities knew something was up, because their grandkids actually wanted to visit. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. we are so excited to have this guy coming to visit. he is a legend, christopher walken is on the show! [ cheers and applause ] he's got a new movie out. "seven psychopaths," going to be good. plus, he is a rock 'n' roll superstar from the who, pete townshend is here! [ cheers and applause ] and we have great music from jens lekman, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] this guy has a beautiful voice. great musician. hey guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we will be taking a look at the pros and cons of the vice presidential debate. it's this thursday, joe biden is going up against paul ryan. the stakes are high. let's take a look at the pros
and cons of the vice presidential debate. here we go. pro, when ryan is introduced, he wants them to say congressman paul ryan. con, when biden is introduced, he wants them to say here comes bidey jo jo. [ laughter ] i think that could -- that could catch on. >> steve: yeah, that could catch on. here's bidey jo jo. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> steve: mm-hmm. >> jimmy: got my go go juice. [ laughter ] >> steve: my jo go juice. >> jimmy: yeah. pro, this debate will be the biggest challenge biden has faced in his time as vp. con, second to trying to stick the straw in the capri-sun pouch. [ laughter ] that can be tough. that could be -- his go go juice. pro, hearing the moderator ask paul ryan why he deserves to be america's number two. con, hearing biden do his butthead impression after hearing "number two." [ as butthead ] "he said number two." [ normal voice ] pro, biden got some debate
advice from president obama. con, take two ambien and then act like you don't want to be there. [ laughter and applause ] might want a second opinion. >> steve: yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if that's the advice. pro, paul ryan takes pride in being on team romney. con, joe biden takes pride in being on team edward. [ laughter ] >> steve: there you go. >> jimmy: big "twilight" fan. >> steve: yeah. huge "twilight" fan. >> jimmy: big "twilight" fan. >> steve: giant. >> jimmy: pro, team paul ryan say, it's time to roll up our sleeves and put america back to work. con, seeing joe biden say, who needs sleeves at all then tear them off like a chippendales dancer. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: why would he -- >> steve: spicy. >> jimmy: he's got guns. pro, rnc chairman reince priebus said not to underestimate joe biden's debate skills. con, reince priebus sounds like a name of a creature from the "star wars" cantina. [ laughter ] reince priebus. [ humming star wars cantina music ] pro, seeing ryan's debate coach
nod silently to him from the crowd. con, seeing biden's debate coach do this. >> what governor romney didn't tell you, he didn't tell you much about his plan. >> let him finish, baby. >> and a lot of this just doesn't add up. 48 million americans. the last time their party was in charge of the white house -- >> jimmy: very good right there. that's a good coach. >> there's daddy boo boo. and finally, pro, hearing paul ryan end his closing remarks with, god bless america. con, hearing joe biden end his closing remarks with hash tag yolo. [ cheers and applause ] that's' the "pros and cons." we will be right back with more "late night" everybody. thanks for watching. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] women are strong.
mamá! i won monopoly!! we won, viejo! we won? the cash? the car? the trip? ¿quien se cayó? i won a fiat 500 with my filet-o-fish! 500 filet-o-fish? a fleet of fish? it's a fish fiesta? a fish fiesta! ♪ what? [ female announcer ] the thrill of sharing is back with monopoly at mcdonald's. with one in four chances to win and over $300 million in prizes, what are you waiting for? the simple joy of sharing the excitement. ♪ the simple joy of sharing the excitement. hershey's makes smiles. smiles make more smiles. when the chocolate is hershey's. life is delicious. [ male announcer ] 20,000 btus produce a delicate sear. double-oven range makes dinner and dessert -- at the same time. turbo-charged advantium oven cooks more than twice as fast,
last week in the first presidential debate, mitt romney said he wanted to cut funding to pbs. that comment received a lot of criticism in the media. i actually thought it was weird, too, especially since romney has a history of supporting educational children's programs. in fact, he has his own show on pbs. let's take a look. ♪ [ applause ] [ "mr.rogers neighborhood" theme ] >> it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, isn't it? [ cheers and applause ] it's a beautiful day for a neighbor. would you mine? could you be mine? won't you be? won't you be? please won't you be my neighbor? ♪ [ light laughter ]
da, da, da. da, da, da, da. please won't you be, my neighbor. [ applause ] of course there's a good chance you already are my neighbor because i own so many homes. [ laughter ] da, da, da. it is a beautiful day. thank you, manuel. [ laughter ] hello, neighbor. you see this? it's called a wallet. and inside of a wallet, well, that's where money goes. now, you know what money is? i'm guessing no because you're watching public television. [ laughter ] therefore, you don't have cable. therefore, you're probably poor. money is sort of like paper that you can use to buy things that you want, like toys or yachts.
you may be wondering where does money come from? well, it comes from a magical place called our parents. [ laughter and applause ] [ knocking ] oh, there's somebody at the door. i wonder who it could be. ♪ [ laughter ] oh, it's a good friend. mr. obama. [ cheers and applause ] >> hello, mr. romney. >> hello, mr. obama. you remember mr. obama, right? last week at the debate, mr. obama taught us all a new word -- choke. [ laughter and applause ] what brings you to the neighborhood today? >> well, since my sleepy performance at the debate, mr. romney, my wife, michelle, has insisted that i pick up some new job skills, so i'm now a mailman part time. [ light laughter ] and oh, look here, special
delivery, october jobs report and the unemployment numbers are down. so, in your face. [ cheers ] >> that's just wonderful. did you know that mr. obama is the president of the united states? very important job. he has to make big decisions and you're charge of a lot of people for four years. >> mr. romney, i think you made a mistake, i think you mean eight years. >> you see, kids, mr. obama just did something called using your imagination. [ laughter ] >> actually, if you take a look at the polls, i think you'll see that in a number of the key states there's -- [ door slams ] [ laughter and applause ] it's fun to use your imagination. you know, i love to have and laugh. ha-ha-ha. [ laughter ] in imagination, why, a simple piece of string here could be any number of things. ♪ can't be that.
could be anything. it could be -- this doesn't make any sense. could be -- could be a piece of twine. twine and string are two fundamentally different things. you know what, this is stupid. [ trolley whistle ] oh, hey, look, it's the trolley. it's on the way to the neighborhood of make believe. that's where me and paul ryan get most of tax from. [ laughter and applause ] let's hop aboard, shall we? i think today i'll bring my trusty friend mr. dog. hi mr. dog, want to go for a trip? you do? great. [ audience ohs ] make sure that you're on good and tight here. make sure you're on good and tight. make sure you're on all right, okay. off we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
ah, the neighborhood of make believe, a land full of things that don't exist in the real world. look, there's a talking cat in the tree house. hey, look over there, my tax returns. [ applause ] >> meow, meow, meow. hello mr. romney, meow. >> hello henrietta. now kids, don't be alarmed, this puppet feline isn't real. look -- ♪ [ laughter ] this is bill. he is a union worker. you pay him with your tax dollars so that he can crouch down with a sock in his hand and make silly voices. you disgust me. [ laughter ] well, that's all the time we have today on "mr. romney's neighborhood," but before i go, remember, there's only one person in the world like you that's you. people can like you exactly the way you are. but if they don't, then just pretend to be the exact opposite of what you are and then maybe they will like you.
>> meow, but doesn't that sort of undermine your original -- >> bill, you're fired. i'll be back next time. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "mr. romney's neighborhood." i learned a lot. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with christopher walken, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] you know that guy that owns that aquarium store. he's not gonna sell you some labradoodle, he's gonna sell you tropical fish! he's got salt water tanks, fresh water tanks, brackish tanks, tanks you can't even fathom. that fish?! no you're not ready for that fish. precision aquatic manipulation. he boils his water perfectly for his velveeta shells & cheese. advantage. this guy. liquid gold. eat like that guy you know.
more than 50 times a day? so brighten your smile a healthy way with listerine® whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only rinse that makes your teeth two shades whiter and two times stronger. ♪ listerine® whitening... power to your mouth. will pick the perfect hotel. with everything in walking distance. and shrimp in reaching distance. [ male announcer ] book your perfect hotel in the perfect spot with ultra fast orbitz mobile apps. orbitz. take vacation back. you can mix and match all day! [ male announcer ] don't miss red lobster's endless shrimp, just $14.99! try as much as you like, any way you like! like parmesan crusted shrimp. hurry in, offer ends soon! i'm ryan isabell and i see food differently.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody, welcome back. we are joined right now by academy award-winning actor who has starred in so many great films, from "the deer hunter" to "the king of new york," to "catch me if you can." his new film "seven psychopaths" is in theaters this friday, october 12th. please welcome to the show a great actor, a great new yorker, here's christopher walken.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome! they love you! they love you! they love you! [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: obviously we are big fans. you spend a lot of time in this building? >> yes. i -- with my brothers, we were those child performers and nbc, sixth floor, eighth floor, particularly at holidays, they would have a lot of kids on. >> jimmy: yeah, like variety shows? >> very family shows with lots of kids. and i remember -- i know this building very well.
this building has great hardware. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, decent hardware. >> really it does. the knobs on all the doors are made of brass. they last forever. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, they do. yeah. they are nice. they're very sturdy. >> and they never wear out. and as a kids, i remember looking at them right here. >> jimmy: yeah. is it weird to see them now down there. yeah. [ laughter ] you're older now, yeah. you were an actor as a kid or just a -- what did you do? >> performer. >> jimmy: just a performer? what does that mean? >> it means you sing a little, dance a little, you know, they give you a line, which you forget. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you ever forget a line? would you cry and -- >> oh, yeah, yeah. i would always forget the line. >> jimmy: really? you weren't good? >> i wasn't even given a line. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we just tell to you volunteer lies to make the show better? >> but i remember going down in the elevator after a show once with a kid who had forgotten his line and his mother was towering over him and he turned to me and
he said, "i'm washed up." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's cute, right. come on, i'm washed up. he forgot a thing. you went to a performing arts school, correct? >> yes. >> jimmy: and that's where you got the bug. you just wanted to continue to be a performer? >> yeah. and there were a bunch of them there were hundreds of kids who did that in the '50s. there were 90 live shows from new york, it's before videotape was invented. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. some of them were 15 minutes. on this floor, "howdy doody" was in one of these, or maybe the third floor. but i used to see howdy doody in his box. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> like dracula. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: like dracula? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why? >> he would be just be laying there in his box with his string hanging out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that would freak me out. >> dead howdy. >> jimmy: dead howdy. yeah. dead doody. yeah. [ laughter ] dead doody, that's pretty good right? i can did that one.
>> i like that. >> jimmy: i got to tell you because obviously, i know my version of the story, but we were in a sketch together on "saturday night live." i have been lucky -- i was on the cast a couple times wednesday you hosted. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you were a fantastic host of "saturday night live." one of the best. [ cheers and applause ] ever. hands down. you can't even compare. but we did a sketch once and i didn't -- i mean, you saw it when you walked out called "cowbell." [ cheers and applause ] >> i noticed that. [ laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: does that -- were you surprised at how big that sketch became? >> well, when we did it, with the great will farrell and he was hilarious. but there was no way to know that it would catch on like that and -- >> jimmy: do people stop you on the street and -- >> yes. yes. [ laughter ] no, it haunts me, it follows me around. [ laughter ]
and, yeah. i did a play a couple of years ago in new york and people would bring cow bells. [ laughter ] and bang them at the curtain call. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's awful. but i remember -- do you remember -- it wasn't even that good at dress rehearsal. [ light laughter ] the sketch was okay. >> it was very funny. >> jimmy: at dress rehearsal. oh, no, the real air show was unbelievable. >> with, will was playing the cowbell. >> jimmy: he was on fire. i remember this, like, the first -- the dress rehearsal version was fine and it was funny and it was -- there was a -- what is the name of the band, i'm forgetting now? blue oyster cult. >> yes. and so it was "behind the music, blue oyster cult" and basically the whole gist of the sketch was christopher would come back out and say, "that's pretty good take, guys, do it again, but i just need a little bit more cowbell." and it was will farrell who had the cowbell and he was like, "all right. that's what i'm trying to say." >> he really got into it. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: really got into it. but then you -- you both upped your game. i don't know if you remember this. but will during air, will changed his shirt to a smaller shirt. [ laughter ] so when he hit the cowbell, his gut -- his stomach came out? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. and then you kind of turned the christopher walken up a little bit, like you weren't even really speaking english at one point. [ laughter ] you were just going like that and yelling words. [ laughter ] and it was unbelievable. it was unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] and i was crying. i'm in the sketch, i'm crying. i go this is -- the whole studio started to shake at one point because we wanted to you come back out, and say gotta have more cowbell. [ laughter ] >> it's the most famous thing i ever did. >> jimmy: it is. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm honored. i'm honored to be in that sketch with you.
the other sketch, of course, i love, is you doing the continental. [ cheers ] >> television in the '50s, there was a live show on. it was the last thing before they -- before they played the -- they used to play the national anthem at the end and then there was nothing but -- >> jimmy: i remember that. that was weird. and after liberace the continental came on, it was a real show. >> jimmy: that was a real show? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i did not know that. >> it's was very serious. >> jimmy: was there a female beau? >> a woman came in and this guy, he was an italian actor, very handsome named renzo something. and they would come in and they would smoke some cigarettes and drink champagne and it was kind of risque and -- [ light laughter ] and he'd tell her -- he'd tell her his troubles and then she'd leave. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was the whole show. >> yeah. that was it. >> jimmy: gosh. it was great to watch it being done on "saturday night live"
would make me -- always make me laugh because it was -- it's kind of a tough-looking camera guy -- >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: with a woman's glove on. so, it would look like a female -- right? >> you'd sometimes see his feet and he had these huge -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: clearly wasn't a beautiful woman. >> women's shoes from somewhere. >> jimmy: oh, that's right. i do kind of remember that. yes. but we have a clip of christopher walken on "saturday night live" playing the continental. look at this tribute. >> these gloves is merely an excuse. admit it. you find me as irresistible as i find you. ♪ [ laughter ] forgive me, my little frightened wide-eyed beau. i see i've upset you. if i move away from the door, will you promise to stay and banter with me, if only for a few brief moments?
♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he won't let her go. [ cheers and applause ] more with christopher walken after the break. come on back. wee talking about "seven psychopaths." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] now at subway. get a free 6-inch sub of your choice when you buy any 6-inch sub and any drink before 9am. that's right! buy any 6-inch subway sub and any drink before 9am
to get your free 6-inch sub. october only, so hurry in! but i'm still stubbed up. [ male announcer ] truth is, nyquil doesn't unstuff your nose. what? [ male announcer ] alka-seltzer plus liquid gels speeds relief to your worst cold symptoms plus has a decongestant for your stuffy nose. thanks. that's the cold truth! "ever ask somebody to lend you a foot?" thanks. "who thinks about stuff like that?" "vince mahe grew up on two continents... and noticed that wherever you go, people have their hands full, but their feet free." "the result? a liftgate you operate with your foot." "code name?" "open sesame" "the all new twenty thirteen ford escape. it's what happens when you go further." until we discovered k-y yours & mine. this one feels amazing for me, this one is fantastic for her. yeah. and when they combine it opens up a whole new door for us. i've come to clean your pool.
what pool? [ female announcer ] k-y yours & mine. keep life sexy. [ female announcer ] k-y yours & mine. i mean we've been here for five hours and it only feels like four. it feels like four tops. this year, we're finally getting everything... ...that we didn't get last year. yeah. big screen! true 4g. yup. sfx: bing! hey, what did you just do? i just sent him a playlist. by touching phones? yup, simple as that. it's the galaxy s3. i'll see you at the studio later. later. when do you think we're going to be able to... do that thing? on the next one? vo: the next big thing is already here. the samsung galaxy s3.
>> jimmy: we're back with the great christopher walken, his new movie "seven psychopaths" co-stars colin farrell, sam rockwell, woody harrelson, it's in theaters starting this friday. i'm so happy to have you on. do you remember, we did a monologue once on "snl" and you improvised some -- different language. and you said -- >> yiddish, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, was it yiddish? [ speaking yiddish ] >> jimmy: yes. >> it means "what do you want from my life?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i just want -- like, i never knew what you were saying there. [ speaking yiddish ] [ laughter ] i want to talk about "seven psychopaths." this movie -- this is a very funny, very violent movie, i would say. >> well -- yeah, it is funny. it's violent but in a kind of road runner way. you know? [ laughter ] it's beyond -- >> jimmy: yeah, it's cartoony, almost.
>> it gets funny. >> jimmy: yeah. the idea of the movie -- >> heads exploding and things like that. >> jimmy: yeah. so, yeah, that's pretty funny. [ laughter ] heads exploding. but you do take it to that level. martin mcdonagh, he did "in bruges," and you guys met when you were doing -- you were on broadway. >> i did a play with sam rockwell about two years ago -- the cowbell audience. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and yeah, he was there a lot and we got to know each other. >> jimmy: fun. sam rockwell is great guy, too. >> yeah, he is. >> jimmy: the whole cast is killer in this movie. very, very funny. >> wonderful. >> jimmy: the idea that it is you and sam rockwell -- you kind of like -- you come up with a scheme to steal dogs? >> we steal dogs and we return -- we treat the dogs great. [ laughter ] but we return them for a reward. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you steal the dogs from a dog park, then you wait -- look for a sign that says lost dog -- >> exactly. >> jimmy: -- and then you find the dog and want the reward? >> bring it back. then we turn down the reward,
but we actually take it. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. and then you steal the wrong man's dog? >> that's right. we steal woody's dog. and yeah -- he's very upset. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very, very upset. yeah. >> but it was a great dog. you know? there's all those stories about you know, working with animals and this dog was fantastic. i was in every scene that i had this dog and i would put the dog right -- if it was on the show, i would put him right here and stay there. >> jimmy: he would just sit there? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love that. >> perfect dog. >> jimmy: you ever have a dog? >> i did. >> jimmy: you did? what kind of dog was it? >> dogs that didn't do that. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] i heard of those -- that's the kind of dogs i'm familiar with. yeah. i want to show everyone a clip for christopher walken's new movie, it's out this weekend, called "seven psychopaths." check this out. >> you want to go to the bathroom, clean some of the blood and the puke off you? [ breathing heavily ]
>> marty's my writer friend i was telling you about. >> i can smell the booze. where did you get this little shih tzu, billy? >> down at the elephant. >> you think she's the one that they're after? >> there's a strong, possibility, billy. >> jimmy: yeah. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] it's funny, it's great. our thanks to christopher walken. go see his new movie, seven psychopaths this weekend. pete townshend joins us after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
degree created an antiperspirant that's just as strong. degree clinical protection. up to three times the strength of a basic antiperspirant. degree clinical protection. unapologetically strong. dhershey's makes smiles.on. smiles make more smiles. when the chocolate is hershey's. life is delicious. syou know, i've helped a lot off people save a lot of money. but today...( sfx: loud noise of large metal object hitting the ground) things have been a little strange. (sfx: sound of piano smashing) roadrunner: meep meep.
meep meep? (sfx: loud thud sound) what a strange place. geico®. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. delicious. but say i press a few out flat... add some beef sloppy joe sauce... and cheese fold it all up and boom! i just made an unbeatable unsloppy joe pillsbury grands biscuits. let the making begin.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as the lead guitarist and song writer of the who, our next guest is a rock legend that has sold over 100 million records. wow. his new memoir "who i am" is in stores now. please welcome pete townshend! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: there you go. little petey townshend. welcome. >> no, no, no, no, no. little jimmy fallon.
>> jimmy: little petey townshend. >> little jimmy fallon! >> jimmy: here it is. here is the book "who i am ", pete townshend. this is the book. it's out now. >> it is. yeah. i waited to write it until i was really, really old. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very smart of you to do. >> now you just can't get me for anything. >> jimmy: you should have called it "51 shades of grey." >> that was my joke. >> jimmy: no -- i didn't know if you were going to say it. >> i was going to do "67 shades of grey." but, that's good. >> jimmy: oh, i get it. hey, look at this on the back. that's you. [ cheers and applause ] this book has crazy stories in there. about how you came about, smashing the guitar and all that stuff. fun, fun wild stories. do you ever think to yourself like, maybe i wish i wasn't the guy that broke the guitar? maybe. >> yeah. yeah. i was very uncomfortable. i think what comes across in the book and as i was writing -- i didn't -- i didn't really enjoy this as much as i should.
>> jimmy: yeah. isn't that interesting? >> yeah and you know, i had a great life. i know i was very lucky and i'm happy to be alive today. i obviously got the sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll thing wrong. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, completely. you should have enjoyed it more. >> yeah. but i -- but i was surprised to realize that i had -- i would have been much happier to have been a more conventional family man, i think and maybe have been a painter or something, or maybe, you know, wrote music for television. the band thing i found quite difficult. so, it was, in a sense, writing this book now has released me from that. because, although it is a series of kind of crazy rock 'n' roll stories in a way, much of it -- >> jimmy: it's unbelievable. >> a lot of it isn't like that. a lot of it is the truth about my life, the way i was brought up, where i was brought up, neighborhood kid. you know, the who was -- the who were a neighborhood band you know, we came from our neighborhood. >> jimmy: played birthday parties and stuff? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah.
like, let's book the who. >> but the big payers were the jewish weddings. >> jimmy: oh, really? that was a good one? oh, yeah, yeah ,yeah. and we bought our van after we did a jewish wedding. >> jimmy: really? you got a van from that one. yeah. >> yeah. if you did a bar mitzvah, you got even more. >> jimmy: really? that was a good gig for you guys? were you with the detours at that point? >> we were the detours. >> jimmy: and then you at one point, this was great, you'll read in this book, you wanted to call the band "the hair." >> it was a great idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was a big mistake. don't ever -- why would you? >> i'm leaving the stage. >> jimmy: no, no, no, don't. i'm sorry to insult you. >> i -- you know, we were -- we heard that there was another band called the detours and so we have this gathering. and my flat mate bonnie came up with the name, the who? i'm like, what, the who? "no, it's great, people will go 'the who?'" >> jimmy: do we want that? >> i said, that's going to be a bain of my life for the rest of my life. and i said, i'm kind of like, boys now, we're into our hair. why don't call ourselves the hair?
>> jimmy: oh, my gosh. everyone just walks out of the room just silence. and you go, "forget it." >> i still kind of like it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. pete, no. no, absolutely not. you can't be the hair. but being band mate with keith moon, i would say that's probably an experience for just -- that's probably three books. >> yeah. i had to leave out so many stories. the stories i managed to get in, but i don't know whether it comes off properly, is this -- he was always -- he would do crazy things if he thought he could get a laugh. you know, he -- and i spent a lot of time as his kind of straight man. you know, i would be the straight man. he would dress as adolf hitler and he would walk into the dressing room and i would have to be hermann goering. [ laughter ] hey, adolf. hey! >> jimmy: i love that. >> but, one occasion, we were late for a show, we've come out of our holiday inn -- and i'm sorry, holiday inn. take me back, take me back! >> jimmy: the holiday inn -- you're still banned from the holiday inn? >> well, technically.
>> jimmy: how about holiday inn express? can you get into that one? >> the nation's innkeeper. >> jimmy: i know. and you're not welcome. >> no, i know i belong there. >> jimmy: you really do. >> i want to go back. >> jimmy: i should bring you there once in a disguise. just to put a picture on twitter. >> anyway, so we're late for this gig. he comes -- we get it the car, we're driving the airport, and halfway to the airport he goes, "oh, mom! -- we got to go back, we got to go back." and we think he's left something illegal in the room, so we drive back. we get there and we look up and the maid is cleaning the room all ready. and he goes up and he goes into the room, he pushes the maid aside. he goes, "hey, what are you going?" goes in, he comes out with the tv set, he throws it into the parking lot. [ makes smashing noise ] comes down, get's back in the car and goes, "i nearly forgot." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a legend. that is un -- just 'cause he -- just 'cause he knew he'd get a laugh out of that. >> yeah! and we missed the plane. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: things like that, you just kept getting bigger and bigger and crazier. >> they were -- they did get crazier. but, the other thing was, he could wear you down. he really could wear you down. but, it was -- that stuff, the fun stuff, it spread through -- the only guy that really was never really comfortable with that stuff was roger. he didn't really like that kind of arched, deep, dark comedy. >> jimmy: he did not? >> no. >> jimmy: he just wanted to stick to business? >> yeah. >> jimmy: when did he start doing the microphone twirling? was this after you did the windmill? >> probably, he was copying me. >> jimmy: he was, yeah. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] we can make fun of him, exactly. >> he's a little guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you never liked him. you're going on tour with roger and zak starkey who's ringo's son. who is an amazing drummer. >> he is. >> jimmy: and it's -- i've seen you in concert so many times, but i always like wait to see what the crowd's going to say of pino palladino or zak starkey.
and you go like, they're going to boo because of keith moon or something, but they just love him. i think he's great. >> i think -- zak starkey, was like -- when he was a kid, he used to come to who shows and keith, funny enough, gave zak his first big drum kit. ringo didn't want zak to be a drummer so he -- maybe he just didn't want the noisy noise. >> jimmy: really? >> so he didn't give him a kit. he gave him some stuff, maybe a guitar. and zac's a good guitar player, too. but any way, so he was a keith moon disciple. but i think zac plays in a more refined way than keith did. keith was not a straight drummer, he wasn't an r & b drummer. you know, i wanted a drummer like the guy that played with booker t. and the m.g.'s. simple stuff. and he never did that. he was like an orchestral drummer. he decorated. boom-ba-da-boom boom boom! [ impersonates drum solo ] >> jimmy: and you go, you're too fast. >> and sometimes in recording, we would get him to do the simple stuff and then we would let him back in again to do
another session, another track, where he did his orchestral stuff. and he used to stand like an orchestral drummer. he would stand -- [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we're in a rock'n'roll band, what are you doing? >> and right away through "quadrophenia," for example, we did very, very simple backing tracks. and then i did these tracks where he would do these overdubs and he had timpani, the big kettle drums and gongs and cymbals. and it really did bring the track to life. it really did -- it made that album sound more orchestral. he had a real touch for that. what he wasn't good at was playing the drums. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys, more of these great stories, they're all in this book. i'm so happy you finally put this out. i've been dying to have these stories because i don't want to bug you -- >> it's going to make you so sad. >> jimmy: but then it makes me happy. it is a roller coaster of fun in this book.
♪ hey renee do you still have your holden that old clunker's golden ♪ ♪ how about we take it for a spin up and down liken ♪ ♪ listen to music and look at girls i want to know if we have the same taste ♪ ♪ do you like blondes or brunettes the cocoon or the cool cat ♪ ♪ don't pull over just yet look to the left there's a 9.5 down the street ♪ ♪ into my right a perfect 10 sitting in the driver's seat ♪
♪ i don't know what love is but i know what it isn't ♪ ♪ i don't know what love is but i know what it isn't ♪ ♪ so let's get married i'm serious but only for the citizenship ♪ ♪ i've always liked the idea of it a relationship doesn't lie ♪ ♪ about it's intentions how it doesn't apologize or anthologize all the rules and ideas ♪ ♪ we fill our heads with hey do you want to go see a band no i hate bands ♪ ♪ it's always packed with men spooning their girlfriends clutching their hands ♪ ♪ as if they let go